Good news but no one to share with.......

From my 1st blog, I said about I did a bad thing which makes my mom cried like I've never seen.........
And I was worried about she dropping the news to dad........
Yesterday, she came in and told me I'm saving your ass this time........
Next time, save yourself........
That moment a big stone on my chest was lifted, the one helped me lifting it is my mom again.........
Then I truely understands family is what will always be beside you.........

I just hate that why don't I have a sibling to talk to, to play with, to spend my time with.........
These days of being too free made me realised how lonely I am.........
I wish there is another me out there that would accompany me to do whatever crazy stuffs on Earth.........
That needs me like how much I need him/her........
I need somebody to pay attention to me........
Somebody that at least would listen to me..........
Be free and crazy with me........

Mind Invasion........

First of I'm going to start with I am a easy sleeper and I hardly wakes up by noises even if I have set 10 alarm clocks interval of 5 mins in between........

And it's really rare for me to dream, even if someone dreams every night, it would be hard to dream about someone you want to especially continuously I guess........

Well in the pass three nights, I had three different dreams about her........

First, just memory of conversation of texts..........

Then, having a meal together with my close friends with her beside me sitting, eating, laughing.........

Just now I dreamt bout having video calls with her through phone........

Well this girl, she pretty, smart, cute, lazy, and crazy for this one band well and she is one of those good girl a guy like me can't never wish for.......

Well I thought of going up to a next level but I know that I would never got the chance and I am happy with the current relationship with her though it's not hard to understand and not hard to maintain either........

Why drop this news on her when there isn't a need? and I still need to accomplish what my parents expect me to done 1st.........

Yet I guess I'm not ready for love.........
But these dreams bothers me a lot.........

Because those dreams are too good to be true for a person like me..........

This is what they mean by you can get crazy for someone I guess.........

From my previous blog talked about my mom, well she was there accompanying me too...........

Those dreams starts after my mom gets better too, maybe afterall I'm just grateful of what she did..........

I miss you.........

My promise......

My mom found out I have done something where she thinks it's what a bad person does........
First of all my parents are very closed-minded I could say?it's not their fault for being this way........
Since media and the way people act already made it a mind set that people that are doing it are bad........
This one time, I went to dye my hair just dark brown which hardly able to notice, my dad went rampage and didn't talk to me till my hair went black again.......
But later on, I bleached my hair and dye it blue and asks mom to keep it a secret for me.........
Mom did help me to keep it a secret but she also secretly hate it which I didn't know up til this event happens........

First when she found out this thing, she was furious too but at that very night, I heard her crying out loud in the living room and I think this time I've gone too far hurting her........
I am so regret for doing that thing but what done is done and I can't change it anymore........
If I would have known that she would be this sad I would just not do it........
Then I remembered my promise to myself I would never let my mom cry, like ever anymore........
And this time, I'm the cause of her crying........
She cried and cried like there is no tomorrow and did nothing at all for around 1 day..........
Which I think I hurt her the most this time........
Well this thing that I've done, if my dad finds out I'm literally dead........
So I begged mom not to tell dad what I've done, well dad ain't back yet so I still have few more days left to live hoping mom wouldn't tell dad about it.........
Well now no matter how it is going to be I promise myself again this time if I ever become the cause of my mom cry again I won't ever forgive myself and live a lonely life........

Sorry mom, I love you.......